This is extremely important
Sometimes you come across things on the internet that are pretty badass. Usually, you are the millionth person to discover it, and no matter how great it is, the experience is tainted by the shadows of laughter passed -- the knowledge that you are playing catch-up and not breaking new ground.
Not today, my friends.
I want to introduce you to Kintaro (Kris to foreigners with terrible pronunciation).
Kintaro on the right, someone about to get punk'd on the left.
You know, I'm screwing this up. I'll just let him introduce himself.
Haro, my name is Kintaro. I am also having nickname Kris. This name is for foreigner who is too terrible pronuonce of Kintaro. Please study harder, it is Japanese way. I am salaryman for car company in Japan. I am hate job. I having the dream to push the boss into train. I having this dream everynights. I am study the English in America but still my English is too bad. I am sorry.
I want to meeting the sexy womans for the marriage.
1.Must can cooking the delisious meal
2.Having small body, not like fatness foreigner
3.Can raising of children without the fist
4.Not attack my genitals when angry
5.Reading ability is plus
6.Not talk so much
If this is you, emailing me with the no clothes pictures preese. I will the good husband for you. I am International gentleman. I am not violence man, it is only boss I wish to destroy.
Yeah, Kintaro has some pretty hilarious Engrish, but underneath that, it is clear that he is a genuinely hilarious person. Let's see how he spends his typical days:
Today I am wake up early to go gym and start healthy day.
Breakfast time I eat undeliscious but healthy cereal muselix that round-eyes always eating.
I lift weights, and daydream of punching boss into stomach with new muscle power.
I go to work. Daydream of punching boss again.
Lunchtime I go to toilet and cry about life. after I eat delicious lunch.
Punch daydream again
Workday is over and no boss punch. I am fail
I go home and cook the dinner. canned tuna and bread.
I beat my cat for making the loud noise.
I take cat to cat hospital
I come home and go to bed.
The End
I always hoped -- dreamed -- that all of the salarymen on the trains in Japan, despite the matching suits, similar behaviour, and samey sameness, all had interesting and unique worlds in their heads. Really, I like to think that about most people, but I'm generally disappointed. Kintaro has shown me that there is at least one salaryman out there that still has a soul.
I'll close with my favourite of his blog posts, about Basu Otoko / Napoleon Dynamite, which I mentioned in my homestay post. Make sure to check out more of his hilarity on his Myspace page.
Sometime in Japan movie name is difference from America movie name. Basu Otoko is Bus Man meaning! In American this movie is name Napoleon Dynamite, japanese is not pronounce this terrible word so we say Basu Otoko. This movie is recomendation of Canadian friends. Canadian is like American but more hair on the body and drinking maple syrup everydays, also they are laughing when joke is not clear. This is problem for me. The canadian say words from movie and laughing. I am only confusion. I decided to watching this movie. again I am only confusion. I am only feel sorry to main chara who have not healthy brain. The Bus Man is just to find true love. Why laughing. In Japan we do not laugh at handicap. We keep them in under house so no one can see and feeling the shame. However I am giving this movie extra star for 80's bgm.
rating-*
This is by leaps and bounds the funniest Engrish ever, I was literally in tears reading it. This man deserves some sort of prize.
I think he is voilence man because even with cat! I am laugh hard tho